I have always had a love hate relationship with my body. In fact I remember when I was a young girl being self conscious around my friends in my bathers. When I hit puberty it was one of the last times I ever wore a bikini . Now when I look back on those photos, I am shocked at how good I look as opposed to what I thought and astounded at the waste of time and energy I gave it .
Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? I know growing up , I had a great upbringing except when it came to weight. My mother was a Jane Fonda step aerobic maniac and there was barely a window she would pass that she was not checking out her profile not out of vanity but to see if her butt looked too big etc .There was a lot of ” I really shouldn’t” and ‘I mustn’t” in regards to food. My mother was a bad eater, with a massive sweet tooth and a love for brie cheese!!
I was for a long time afraid of social media and posting photos of myself as I was very body conscious. I do not have the long legs that I dreamed of, I no longer have the flat stomach that I had always had when I was younger. All I would see or maybe it was all I could see, was photos of people in their bathers and looking trim and slim no matter what age and stage of life.
I have been on every diet imaginable since I was 13, I am a lifetime member of WW, I have tracked and weighed my food as I actually enjoy it! I have in the past not done activities because I was so self conscious. But now, I am learning to listen to my body. Really Listen to what it needs , how it feels and eat foods that nourish my body. Eat without guilt , look in the mirror and love the person looking back, flab, cellulite stretched skin and all. Not easy to do but it is the only body I have and it is time to give it the love it needs.
Listen, there are parts of me I really do love and parts I do not. There seems to be a change lately on social media which I am totally thrilled about. Women of all different ages and stages posting real un filtered photos , embracing everything thing about themselves. Bringing the discussion to the forefront of body shaming and body acceptance. What I have realised is that I have spent enough time hating my body and it is time to start loving it.
I earned the flabby tummy, my body gifted me with the strength and fortitude to carry three babies at one time while keeping them healthy and safe. My body is strong and my legs might not be long and lean but I have killer strong quads and strong arms .Growing up I was teased about my hair as it was so thick and unruly. Now, I am laughing as I so grateful to have a full head of curly thick hair.
I have learn to dress to suit my body shape ,I have learnt that clothing sizes do not matter as they are so inconsistent . The clothing size does not define me. I have found bathers that make me feel comfortable and happy and not self conscious and for me, my bikini days are still over! I have a husband that loves and adores me for me. Getting older is not a crime, a sin, or anything to be ashamed of, it is a beautiful gift that we should embrace as so many people do not get this privilege .
We are older and wiser and truly understand that there is way more to life than judging ourselves based on what we believe are acceptable standards. Embrace and love every thing about yourself for we deserve it.