Our featured mother is the gorgeous Tracie Rossi! Tracie lives in beautiful Carmel, California and is a busy mum to three kids! Tracie has had the most wonderful transformational journey and truly understands the importance of who we really are and our purpose and taking the time to really live in the present! Tracie really opened herself up to us and I am sure will inspire many mothers reading this!
Tracie wrote a beautiful poem for her mother’s eulogy which I am sharing at the end. Even thought I did not know her mother, it is a beautiful comforting emotional poem that if you have ever lost someone, I know it will touch you like it did me.
Thanks Tracie for sharing your journey with us! You can follow Tracie on IG @zeleitrace
- How many kids do you have, name and age?
I am a mother of 3; Lauren age 24, Zachary age 21 and Tatum age 16.
2. What is your current occupation?
I have worn many “work”hats over the years, including Mother home maker, Educational Psychologist, caregiver for ailing parents and project manager of residential renovations. Most recently, I created an apparel and accessories company using Lotus fiber, focusing on sustainability and providing work for marginalized women in Cambodia. This is my passion!
(love your clothes and your video on Cambodia!!! Such a wonderful concept!)
3. What are the challenges of balancing work and parenting?
Balancing family and career have been one of the hardest challenges for me. I am a mother first, and have had a hard time putting myself before others. Creating success for my children and husband has always been a primary focus and I often have referred to myself as “best supporting actress”. I learned the hard way that continuing this behaviour over time was detrimental to my own well being. It was only after a crisis of identity that I began to change my ways. Since this recognition of imbalance 10 years ago, I have been striving to create the “perfect balance”. At first I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. After feeling neglected for a long time, I decided I was going to do what I wanted and quickly found myself saying no to many of the things I once embraced fully; family parties, entertaining extended family, taking trips with the children in tow. I embraced all that was new to me. Weekend out with girlfriends, dressing up to showcase my strength and femininity, partying in Vegas, taking many weekends away with just my husband and beautifying myself in ways I had not ever done before.
The pendulum had swung from one end to the other. Outside events in my life ended up curbing my all or nothing mindset by limiting my ability to continue going and doing at that rapid pace, but ultimately helped me to find a better balance between being there for others I love and showing myself love. I now have a keen understanding of this balance and know that I can be both a wonderfully loving caregiver to others, while also giving to myself. It does not have to be one or the other. I pay close attention to all of the tasks I do for others and when I feel myself getting frustrated by interruptions or requests, I step back and listen to that uncomfortable feeling. I question what I am doing, if it really needs to be done by me or if I am providing a crutch for someone else through over giving or if it can simply wait for a more convenient time.
I am up front about my need and communicate this to others. I tell myself that “I” am worth time and energy. One way I give to myself is through exercise. I began this regimen 16 yrs ago when I was just beginning to feel undervalued , at a time when I was giving much more that I was receiving. I joined a Karate centre that had personal training and was embraced by a personal trainer/karate instructor, that helped me develop strength and belief in my self from the inside out. He is perhaps the most influential person I have had in my life to date, as he pushed my personal boundaries helping me to physically perform in ways I never thought possible.After 13 years of personal training with him twice a week and continuing running the other five times a week, I was a muscle machine, in peak shake with the belief in myself that not only as I worth it , I can do anything!
I am saddened to have him retire now, but have never stopped exercising every day consistently reciting the words of wisdom he imparted on me. Taking time to exercise is one of the most important ways I give to myself, which in turn allows me to give more unconditionally to others.
(This is so beautiful and true and I feel that many women struggle with giving to others while neglecting themselves)
4. What is your life philosophy?
My life philosophy has been ever changing. I am blessed to have gone through extremely hard challenges in every aspect of my life It is directly through these hardships that I have grown internally and developed deeper perspectives. Death of my relationships with my husband, death of my mother, father and grandmother-all within 7 years, difficult trials with teenagers, loss of work/income and many assets I once had, betrayal by friends and colleague, displacement from my home and more have all been a the core of transforming my personal philosphy of life.
I have discovered that LOVE is the answer. There is no way to know what will happen next, what happens when we pass on, what the right or wrong answer is or what will come to be. It is only by living in the moment day by day, absorbing people and situations with openness and kindness, showing up as the best person we can be and giving ourselves and others the love we deserve, that delivers us grace in the moment and a lasting effect we can take into tomorrow.
(Being in the present is huge and I have had to learn this and still learning)
5. What is a piece of advice you would give others mothers and what is one thing you wish you would have known before having children?
To all moms out there…. Don’t forget yourself!I greatly admire those moms who have nailed the balance between motherhood and self. It is not easy! For those moms who choose to give up their careers to focus on the single most difficult task of being ‘mom’-it is imperative that you not forget who you are. I chose to stay home with my children and feel very blessed I had the ability to do this. I know well the rewards and also the detriment that can come from it. Advice: YOU are important, equally important as your children and your husband! YOU are valuable, even if you are not bringing home a pay check! YOU deserve to receive things that fill your bucket, as you work tireless to fill up others. Consistently do something for yourself. Be it exercise, meditation, lunch with friends, a book club, a charity venture or even a side business. Do something that fulfill you and only you. Not only will you feel more valued and rewarded, you will end up being better able to five to those you love without the feelings of resentment and sacrifice.
I wish I had known that I didn’t have to choose between giving to myself and giving to my children and husband.I have realized that when I finally chose to give to myself, I provided a good example of what it means to be healthy and balanced. By the time I had my third child, I left her with a babysitter for two hours twice a week, so I could go to my workout with a personal trainer. Sometimes I had to bring her along and she would have to wait with me in the gym. I put in in a baby jogger and ran with her every day I was not in the gym until she was 5 years old and started kindergarten! (That was a very good workout Ha!) After many years and my children have now grown up, I have realized that they now mimic my healthy choices by choosing to work out and stay healthy themselves. Our actions provide the best examples for our children to follow. Give to yourself in healthy ways and the rewards will be a benefit to you and your children both in the moment and with life long effects.
6. What is your greatest achievement apart from your children?
My greatest achievement to date if finding my true self. I did this through a lot of hardship , loss and ultimately the Lotus. Many people know of the lotus flower as it is used as symbolism of re birth and purity honoured in the Asian cultures for thousands of years and often used by Western businesses such as yoga studios and other wellness companies as their business icon.For me, the lotus came about in a different way and has proved the catalyst of my complete rebirth.
At a time when I was beginning to feel uncomfortable , unrecognized, under appreciated, invisible and worn out, I was waiting in the salon for my hair appointment looking through a fashion magazine. I flipped through the pages looking at the current trends. As I turned the page, something gripped me that would forever change my life. Staring back at me from the page of this magazine was a woman\’s face, so raw and beautiful, so strong. I read the title of the article underneath her picture which informed me that this woman was a survivor of the sex trafficking trade in Cambodia. I immediately thought…”How horrible!” Then I turned the page to continue looking at the fashion. But after turning the pages forward, I then turned back again. Forward and back I turned until I decided that I would read her story. The odds that this woman had overcome from being held hostage in the sex trafficking industry at an early age were remarkable! She had overcome the unthinkable. What strength! Now she was speaking out sharing her story to enlighten those of us like myself who had become so wrapped up in our own bubble that we were oblivious about what is going on in other parts of the world.
I immediately thought. “If this woman could overcome such tragedy and oppression , surely I could overcome my own limitations and confinement.” She was my ultimate inspiration that guided me to research Cambodia; the culture the women and find the lotus.I decided then that I wanted to do something to give back to this population of marginalized women, help give them the opportunity to work with good wages so that they do not have to sell their children to the street of work it themselves. I connected and began supporting a charity organization in Cambodia that removes girls from the street, providing rehabilitation education and job skills. I found out about the lotus that is so greatly honoured in their society and connected with its meaning and significance. I found out about the age old tradition of weaving lotus, ordered some material and fell in love with it!
I visited Cambodia with my family to learn more. Shortly after returning home I invested in the Cambodian company making lotus with the intention of creating an apparel line with it. In 2019 I had the opportunity of a lifetime to go to Cambodia again and this time create my dream. For five weeks the most transitional time period of my life, I spent time alone in Cambodia focusing on my own goals, the creation of a full line of men\’s and women\’s apparel made completely from lotus fibre. While I was there, I gained far more than I bargained for-I ultimately found myself. Upon my return, I showcased this line at Fashion Week in New York with great reviews and much interest in the newly developed fibre, perfectly suited to support sustainability in the current fashion industry. Just as the lotus begins deep in the darkness, the muddy murk and rises to the surface to bloom brilliantly, so have I.
You can visit my website to learn more about my company Zelei Trace at zeleitrace.com
(LOVE this transformational journey and the symbolism of the lotus flower and of course your giving heart!)
7. What have you done that you thought you could never do?
I never thought that I could travel across the world by myself and not only survive but thrive in a remote country. What I discovered was more beautiful, ruck and rewarding than anything I ever imagined. Loving, hard working people, conscientious, spiritual, generous, colourful, vibrant and talented…I was embraced with love, immersed i the local ways, absorbing and learning something new every second of the day. I was able to focus all of my attention on self discovery, this amazing new land of wonder and my personal goal-the production of my own line of apparel. This was truly the most empowering and fulfilling thing I have accomplished and I never dreamed I could.
One interesting thing about this trip was that going was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I was not scared of going to a foreign country by myself-not at all! The part I feared was losing my significance with my children. I feared that if I left for an extended period of time, that they would not need me anymore or would feel that I had abandoned them. I found the opposite was true. Embracing my own path and choosing to honour myself brought even more awareness to them of my significance as their mother. They observed all of the ways I show up for them everyday because I was not there to do so. They recognized me in a new way as an individual not just their mother. I was welcomed home with a super warm embrace and admiration for making my dream a reality!
8. What books did you love to read to your children?
One of my favourite stories I read to each of my children was “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch. I can never get through the ending without a few tender tears! This is a story that truly depicts a mother’s love for her child through all of the ages and stages as they grow. The mother tenderly rocked her baby to sleep and sang. “I”ll love you forever, I ‘ll like your for always. As long as I am living my baby you will be..” The baby grew into a toddler, then an adolescent, a teenager and finally a grown man. All the while she shares this sentiment with him, first rocking him as an infant, then sneaking up to kiss him while he is sleeping as he grew more independent.
The son then grew into an adult and continued this meaningful connection with his own child. At the end of the story, the mother was an old woman and in need of caring herself. Her son beautifully reciprocates the love she gave to him in the same way she had been shown. He picked her up onto his lap, rocked her in comfort and sang back to her, “I’ll love you forever, I’l like you for always, As long as I’m living my mother you will be.”
This book is a beautiful example of how sharing our love grows love in others and our investment in our children comes back to us in the most rewarding ways.
Love that book and used to read it to my kids! Maybe one day you can add my book Three Times the Fun to your grandchildren’s library 🙂
My Mother’s Hands
Imagine the hands
That first held me when I was new
Consoled me to sleep
Caressed my pump cheek
With guidance and grace
They directed my life
Held my own hands tight
In safety and fright
Picked me up when I fell
Turned the pages of stories she would tell
Those were my mother\’s hands
Embraced me when I woke
Tucked me in at night
Combed through my hair
Donned me with ribbons to wear
Created comfort and joy
Cooked, shopped and cleaned
Sewed doll clothes and pinafores
Made my young face beam
Imagine her hands
How musy and prompt
Throwing birthday parties, festive dinners
Sweet treats were the top
They gardened
Decorated
Those hands did it all
A favourite was shopping at the nearest mall
As an adult they continued
To love and help me grow
Buttoned my wedding dress
Knitted blankets for a throw
They cherished my own children
Cuddled, played and taught
Without a doubt
Those hands were so sought
For me and my family
Siblings and school children
Teaching and creating
Greatest gifts for the next generation
Delicate and graceful
Yet strong and filled with purpose
I have been touched
By her hands that were so beautiful
In the last month of life
I continued her will
I held her hands through the fright and the fear
I admired them lovingly
Massaged them with cream
Touched them so softly
Held them so near
My mother\’s hands
Are those that showed love
Gave me so much to live for
Then just like a dove
Flew up to the heavens
To watch from above
What I wouldn\’t give
To see them once more
Feel their embrace
Have them open her door
Her hands
How they manifest
All desire and will
Taught me to do the same
With my own I hold dear
I have been blessed
Touched by my mother’s hands
If you would like to me featured on Mothers with Many message me.